Hi, Robyn, and thanks for
hosting Bushland Lullaby on its tour.
Thank you for being here, Sally, and now over to you.
Rhyming picture books are
popular with children, parents and teacher/librarians, but can be less than
popular with publishers. Why, as Professor Julius Sumner Miller would once have
said, is it so?
I asked an editor about that and
her reply was staggeringly simple; (a) Because rhyming texts are so difficult to
do well. (b) Because rhyming texts don’t translate into other languages without
a complete rewrite, which compromises the chance of foreign editions and thus,
of foreign income.
So, why did I write Bushland
Lullaby in rhyme? And not only in rhyme, buy in aa/bb rhyme? I suppose it was
partly because lullabies are traditionally sung, and partly because rhyme and
scansion come easily and naturally to me. Also, Scholastic Australia, the
publishers, have a big enough customer base in Australia to make the translation
problem less of a – well – problem.
Telling a story in rhyme can be
difficult, as often I see texts (unpublished) where the first two lines in a
verse drive the story while the next two are “passenger” lines, which are there
just to carry the form. A rhymed story, to work, must conform to the rule of any
picture book; each line must be essential to the story.
As it happens, Bushland Lullaby
is not really a story, but – a lullaby, so each stanza, although relating to the
theme as a whole, stands alone.
Another problem with rhymed
texts is the temptation to twist the syntax to get the rhyme and scansion going.
The example below is not from a picture book, but does show how twisted syntax
works (or doesn’t work) in a narrative poem.
I went to the lake with a
circle of friends
The month was July and almost
the end
As you can see, we have an
obvious case of twisted syntax. The natural way for this line to fall would
be;
It was almost the end of
July.
Could you use it in a natural
way and preserve the rhyme?
With a circle of friends to
the lake then went I
It was almost the end of
July
This has messed up the meter,
and twisted the first line. What about;
I went to the lake with a
circle of friends
It was almost the end of
July
I knew I had failed them; too
late for amends,
On the lakeside I bade them
goodbye.
So that the word July
does not look dragged in, it should mean something in the poem. In
Australia, July is winter, while it is summer in the northern hemisphere. Either
season could be important, and could be referred to in the next
line…
The summer had shrunken the
lake to a pool
OR
The chill of the land matched
the chill of my soul
So, with a bit of thought and
skill, it is possible to write rhymed lines with natural word order, even
if the language employed is a bit more poetic than prose. Picture books, though,
are written mostly for a young audience, so too much high-flown language is
inappropriate. The trick is to use exact and colorful language without getting
obscure, and to be willing to use assonance and/or consonance rather than strict
rhyme if it will improve the text.
To finish, here is an excerpt
from Bushland Lullaby…
In a merry creek
where the currents run
Where eddies
dance with winking sun
Curled in a
burrow so safe and deep
Little Platypus
lies asleep …
Thanks so much
for hosting us, Robyn!
Thanks for including my blog in your tour, Sally, and all the best with Bushland Lullaby. It's a beautiful book all children will love.
Bushland Lullaby
Asleep in a gently snoozing ball
Little possum's soft and small.
In a twisty tunnel and cosy bed
Little wombat rests his head.
All the baby animals sleep soundly in the comfort of the bush.
Bushland Lullaby is published by Scholastic Australia 2012 ISBN: 9781742831770
Blog Tour
Spinning Pearls – Sally Odgers
1st September 2012
Writing for Children – Peter Taylor
3rd September 2012
From Hook to Book – Chris Bell
7th September 2012
Kids’ Book Review – Tania McCartney
8th September 2012
Reading and Writing with Dale Harcombe
12th September 2012
School Magazine with Jackie Hosking
18th September 2012
Writing Children's Books with Robyn Opie Parnell
23rd September 2012
Please visit Sally's website to learn
more about Sally Odgers, her books, manuscript assessments and a wonder
of other information: http://www.sallyodgers.com/
5 comments:
Thanks for having me, Robyn!
Very interesting post, Sally - very informative about writing poetry! THank you Robyn too.
Thanks, Sheryl.
Many thanks, Robyn and Sally. This is most useful and fascinating - and I just love the book.
We're glad you enjoyed Sally's guest post, Sheryl and Peter. Thanks for visiting and sharing in Sally's blog tour. I agree! I love Bushland Lullaby too.
All the best everyone,
Robyn :)
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